Simon (mynameisnotreal) wrote in scrooge_you,
Simon
mynameisnotreal
scrooge_you

On Walmart

So, I went to Walmart, against my better judgment, yesterday.

Today, I sent them feedback about my 'shopping experience'.



"I went into the above mentioned store to get some supplies for a project I was working on. From the moment I walked in, I was assaulted with Christmas music, Christmas lights, Christmas banners covering the US flag, Christmas displays, Christmas bloody candy, Snowmen, tinsel and fake bloody Christmas trees.

I was nearly so revolted by the sights of having 'holiday' shoved down my throat and thinking that it's going to be crammed down my gullet for the next two bloody months that I nearly left before getting what I needed. I raced passed the Jingle Bell Rock swaying Santa Claus aisle, through the onslaught of cheaply made Oh Holy Night commemorative disposable candles and cleaved my way through the ornaments, flocking and tinsel to get the glue and pipe I needed. Flock you too.

I then retreated to the cashiers, avoiding the red-faced screaming child with both claw-like hands grasping for Christmas toys with the huge "BUY ME!" sticker and the exasperated looking mother, trying to get away from these monstrosities as soon as I could, starting a conversation with the beleaguered cashier, who looked like she had been punched nearly to death by the inflatable Snowmen that lurked off the main aisle in the sewing section. I asked her what she thought of Operation: Jam Christmas Down Our Throats. I have never seen a more depressing look on a face short of a suicidal beagle. At least I could escape and avoid your bloody hell-hole of a store, except for minimal needs for the next two months. That too is under serious revision of policy. She, on the other hand, was trapped there.

I swear I will avoid your store like it is a convention hall for festering plague rats starting their own "tiered marketing program" for at least the next two months. I refuse to have you bloody well ruin my experience with this holiday in the hopes that you can rape my already empty pockets. Oh. And speaking of which. Thank you for reminding me that I have exactly two things with which to buy presents this year: 'Jack' being one them.

Thank you for making me more miserable than I already am. Thank you for making me feel awful about an upcoming time for family, friends and joy. Thank you for making my stomach do flips. Thank you for being a whole long line of deleted explicatives, making my day horrible and the thought of the next two months about as pleasant as a root canal sans pain killers."
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